Joining the same world as my housemate causes lag and disconnects for me only

Hello!

So this is a weird issue and I can’t make sense of it, I’ve tried so many different troubleshooting steps and I’ve only found one thing that “resolves” it.

Here’s the situation; myself and my housemate both play VRC and we often like to play together.
We both have fairly punchy gaming PCs, both equipped with 5800X3D CPUs, mine has an RX 6800XT while hers has a 12gb RTX3060.
We both use Quest headsets wirelessly with Steam Link along with full body tracking.

Our WiFi setup is thus; I have the main Modem/Router connected to a WiFi6 access point in my gaming room, she also has her own WiFi6 Access point in her room too, both are configured to use different WiFi6 channels as to prevent any signal crowding.

Now for the issue at hand: When we’re on VRC at the same time but in separate worlds, my game runs flawlessly, no lag, no disconnecting.

Now this is the weird part;

As soon as we play in the same world, I get a lossy messy experience as well as regular (almost every few minutes) disconnects that boots me back to respawn.
Even weirder is that I’m the only one who experiences this, her game stays buttery smooth.

The only resolution I’ve found that mitigates this is to reduce our SteamLink bitrate on both PCs to 70mbs, while this does appear to reduce the random disconnects to roughly once every couple of hours, the quality of the stream isn’t great.

The higher the bitrate, the more regularly I get disconnected and the more often I get lag spikes resulting in a lossy and messy image to my headset.

As soon as we both play in separate worlds, I can bump up our Bitrates and my game is stable.

Does anyone have any solutions or has experienced this themselves?

bumping because this my issue is still unresolved