I followed the official tutorial for the senders and receivers and nothing happened.
I then looked at other peoples tutorials and they mention more things that vrchat does NOT, such as including uploading with the animation controller empty and the controller in the fx layer, and that the layer for the animations using contacts must be set to additive, not override.
On top of that I found that the animation disregards sound and particle elements unless it IS override, in which case I must have a duplicate layer, which was weird. It was only then that I could activate my contacts myself, but apparently no one else could interact with mine at all.
I feel like there is some missing information somewhere that explains what I must do and what I must NOT do that impedes and allows this functionality